I always thought I don't date, i.e going to dinner, concerts etc.. at least not until I am in a relationship with someone. But I was speaking to a girl yesterday, and I think I have a problem:
Girl: "I'm dating 4 people"
Abs: "Oh, Cool"
Penis (nickname: Penetrator) to Abs: "Dude, WTF, dont be this girls friend, use the 5 C's on her!!
Abs to Penetrator: (Whilst stroking.."Calm down it's ok shhhh, shhhh....Mmmmh")
After my penis cried a little on me and got the craziness out of his system, (clearly my penis is a woman!) It later became apparent that everyone has different definitions for the term 'dating':
To her, dating was hanging out with someone to ascertain if you wanted to go out with them. I dont know about everyone else, but i thought thats what 'hanging out' with someone is called. Does this mean I am almost constantly dating.. That can't be right, she continued to explain:
"The difference is, on 'dates' you flirt (Now i was really starting to think I was a serial dater!) and you understand if their personality is one you like in order for you to decide if you want to sleep, and then go out with them" (Her order, not mine). And then it hit me: I am not a Serial Dater. I rarely, if ever, hang out with a girl to decide if i want to go out with them.. Phew!!
I hang out with them cos I have decided that upon intitial review:
a) I find them attractive
b) They are fun/make me laugh.
Now we are hanging out i want to see if:
c) The traits are independent of context, because makeup, dark lights, (ask Chris Rock) and ugly friends do wonders for how girls are percieved in terms of the above and in terms of B...Is she a fun girl to have a 20-30 minute convo in a club/coffee shop/middle of the street or can she extrapolate the value over time in differing contexts.
d) How inappropiate and up for craziness she is, and if she can out-do me.
Now, when, and if a girl passes these checks, which is rare because she is technically competing with my friends for my social time. My triangle and square (explained in another blog- For now my close friends) are genuinely amazing and i feel honoured to have such great, value providing, fun giving, life loving friends!
Lets say she passes this subconscious test: So, I want to hang out with her more than i do my friends and IF vice versa i.e she still wants to hang around me, then thats it, u've kinda got something going on, which you can decide where to take... Love, monogamy, polygamy, friends with benefits, just friends with touching (if she's 16, or a virgin), swingers conventions, fun times with a camera, fun times with gloves, fun times with other people at the saaame time!! All of the above if you are Charlie Sheen, or if you are like me ' Holding hands and getting to know each other, on the inside'
There is no thought of do I want to go out with this girl, do I want to be her boyfriend, its just hanging out, playing pool, nights out, having jokes, watching a dvd at hers. Its about having fun, and if unlike me you are not looking for your soul mate, then the fun leads to more fun, its a vicious circle!!
Dating on the other hand, at least in my head, is deciding you really like a girl, and then going to dinner, getting nervous, making carefully thought out conversation so as not to scare her off, and thinking of ways to put ur arm round her at a movie. I have never done this ever before i really knew a girl, really well! Thus not having any of these boring conversations :
" What do you do for fun?"
"What music do you like"
"What kind of films do you watch?"
"Oh... Me tooo..."
I dont know about anyone else, but these kind of dates, just seem fake and a bit of make up over the real you... Maybe this is why girls really like this idea/concept, :p... Dont get me wrong I am all about the dating and going to nice places and being nervous and looking nice for someone... But this can wait until... You want to propose!
Though dating in the formal context seems like the most stupid idea ever to me. This is probably why the idea of dating a girl still scares me a little and adds a bit of trepidation to the whole concept and process. Maybe im the weird one, everyone else is seemingly into this whole dating idea!
Girl: "I'm dating 4 people"
Abs: "Oh, Cool"
Penis (nickname: Penetrator) to Abs: "Dude, WTF, dont be this girls friend, use the 5 C's on her!!
Abs to Penetrator: (Whilst stroking.."Calm down it's ok shhhh, shhhh....Mmmmh")
After my penis cried a little on me and got the craziness out of his system, (clearly my penis is a woman!) It later became apparent that everyone has different definitions for the term 'dating':
To her, dating was hanging out with someone to ascertain if you wanted to go out with them. I dont know about everyone else, but i thought thats what 'hanging out' with someone is called. Does this mean I am almost constantly dating.. That can't be right, she continued to explain:
"The difference is, on 'dates' you flirt (Now i was really starting to think I was a serial dater!) and you understand if their personality is one you like in order for you to decide if you want to sleep, and then go out with them" (Her order, not mine). And then it hit me: I am not a Serial Dater. I rarely, if ever, hang out with a girl to decide if i want to go out with them.. Phew!!
I hang out with them cos I have decided that upon intitial review:
a) I find them attractive
b) They are fun/make me laugh.
Now we are hanging out i want to see if:
c) The traits are independent of context, because makeup, dark lights, (ask Chris Rock) and ugly friends do wonders for how girls are percieved in terms of the above and in terms of B...Is she a fun girl to have a 20-30 minute convo in a club/coffee shop/middle of the street or can she extrapolate the value over time in differing contexts.
Chris Rock Explains it from 1Min 24 Secs!!
Now, when, and if a girl passes these checks, which is rare because she is technically competing with my friends for my social time. My triangle and square (explained in another blog- For now my close friends) are genuinely amazing and i feel honoured to have such great, value providing, fun giving, life loving friends!
Lets say she passes this subconscious test: So, I want to hang out with her more than i do my friends and IF vice versa i.e she still wants to hang around me, then thats it, u've kinda got something going on, which you can decide where to take... Love, monogamy, polygamy, friends with benefits, just friends with touching (if she's 16, or a virgin), swingers conventions, fun times with a camera, fun times with gloves, fun times with other people at the saaame time!! All of the above if you are Charlie Sheen, or if you are like me ' Holding hands and getting to know each other, on the inside'
There is no thought of do I want to go out with this girl, do I want to be her boyfriend, its just hanging out, playing pool, nights out, having jokes, watching a dvd at hers. Its about having fun, and if unlike me you are not looking for your soul mate, then the fun leads to more fun, its a vicious circle!!
Dating on the other hand, at least in my head, is deciding you really like a girl, and then going to dinner, getting nervous, making carefully thought out conversation so as not to scare her off, and thinking of ways to put ur arm round her at a movie. I have never done this ever before i really knew a girl, really well! Thus not having any of these boring conversations :
"What music do you like"
"What kind of films do you watch?"
"Oh... Me tooo..."
I dont know about anyone else, but these kind of dates, just seem fake and a bit of make up over the real you... Maybe this is why girls really like this idea/concept, :p... Dont get me wrong I am all about the dating and going to nice places and being nervous and looking nice for someone... But this can wait until... You want to propose!
Though dating in the formal context seems like the most stupid idea ever to me. This is probably why the idea of dating a girl still scares me a little and adds a bit of trepidation to the whole concept and process. Maybe im the weird one, everyone else is seemingly into this whole dating idea!
No comments:
Post a Comment