One-Itus part 1

I have had suggestions that I should focus this blog on the crazy, fun or debaucherous stories as these are the best to read. Yet I think this would not be a fair representation of my thoughts and actions, hence the less frequent posts about Osama, riots or friend-shapes are included. The next 2 posts I am here to bare all and show another side which doesnt come out very often at all. (According to my editor - the dull side- talk about kicking a guy when he's down :) )

One-itis for those of you who don’t know is when you like one girl. You think this girl is amazing and believe she is the one for you. All other girls become nothing but eye candy, and every romantic, lovey-dovey song becomes applicable to her. I can say I have had this all of 6 times in my life. Let’s break it down:

3 of the 6 times I really liked a girl it led to a monogamous relationship. This is the best kind of one-itis, where you only like one girl and, wa-hey, she really likes you! Well it’s the best until the feeling ends at which point it’s really sad. And sad as it is, what it is not, is gut wrenchingly, sick inducingly, life alteringly devastatingly ummmm… ouchie in your whole body. This happens when the other party later feels different but your feelings haven't changed. I thank my lucky stars this has only happened to me once, and even then it didn’t last for more than a month, but I can at least understand why other people can’t love like they have never been hurt before.

So I have technically had un-reciprocated one-itis 3 times.

1. A very flirty girl I knew in college, and being a late developer, and an ugly, fat kid she was the first girl I ever really liked who paid me lots of flirty attention, and I was told by mutual friends she liked me. To this day I can say this girl was one of the best flirts I have ever come across. I didn’t fancy her when I first met her but somehow over time she ‘manipulated’ me into liking her. I, doing a classic Abs went and asked her best friend out, who liked me too, but obviously the bros before hos rule kicked in (against me) and long story short it culminated me in telling the first girl I loved her…So gay... Sooo gay! I cringe thinking back to it. I’m not 100% sure what else she said but I do remember her saying: “No, you don’t, and you will get over it”. And fair play to her, she was right! At the time I thought she was ‘The One’ or as I now like to refer to this concept as: ‘My Keanu Reaves’ ((Think about the Matrix)(Credit South Park)). We got back in touch 2-3 years ago and I can happily say I have no feelings for her at all, but from this I realised that being in love and emotionally challenged were different, hence I don't throw that word around!

2. A girl I met when I was 23 I think. This one-itis resulted in me getting PDD ((Personality Deficit Disorder)(Credit Tez Ilyas)). This is a phenomenon when I lose my personality. I become quiet, introspective, I stop joking around, and I smile a lot less. I become somewhat of a saddo, and truthfully if I met me, I would say two words: “Man up” and then promptly leave to go have some fun somewhere. I remember snogging this girl and genuinely don’t realise why I liked her so much. I normally have rules or etiquette I don’t break, but I did break a rule with this girl and did kiss her even though she had drank alcohol, so I must have liked her quite a bit. (I did make her eat 3 polo mints and drink a glass of water - which looking back makes me lol). I have seen this girl randomly twice in the last month, but we aren’t in touch anymore apart from her being my friend on Facebook. She was decent looking, and quite a cool girl but nothing to write home about, and I cant remember how I got over her, but I did.

There are always people worse off than you - You could have permanent PDD

3. This leads to my most recent one-itis, which is the reason I currently have PDD. My triangle have seen me like this less times than you can count on one hand, and bless them they have been massively supportive, helpful and told me to ‘man the fu*$ up’. Other friends who have known me for years are confused and I keep hearing things like, ‘We have never seen you like this before’ and ‘I didn’t know you could get like this’. So I figured I should blog on it, since it isn’t something or a side of me that I will get to present very often. In addition I was thinking of writing a post about how to get over someone, but I think this reality check has showed me that I am exceptionally good at not getting over one-itis. So the next post will be all about how not to get over one-tis and I will use my current one as my reference point.