PROUD Camden

The night continued and we went to PROUD in Camden, and whilst this sounded like a Gay club it wasn’t. What it was, I am still not a 100% sure. What I do know is that, there was a giant walking around on stilettos, whilst playing with string, which just happened to be attached to a dwarf. Im not sure if this was an elaborate visual mind fuck but it looked as thought he was being commanded like a puppet. Some might say it was like being on acid, others could just say It was a very big and very clever visual representation to alters ones understanding of the norm.

Empty and before the craziness can infiltrate your senses.

The randomness did not stop here; there was also a room where fully clothed women seemed to be practicing strip dancing, minus the strip part – Teasing at its best! In addition, there were women dancing up on the ceiling doing crazy flexible bendy things on metal hula hoop rings. After this initial craziness, the night started to exhibit normal craziness. We were in a room reserved by someone called Alyssa. My friend convinced some of Alyssa’s friends that he was Alyssa’s personal trainer. They were extremely excited by this notion, as it seems Alyssa may have had a thing for this personal trainer and just so happened to have told her friends. Hence the friends were extremely interested in my friend posing as this personal trainer. The story telling did not end here, as I was not around he also convinced these girls I was a Michael Jackson competition dancing winner. But before I was asked to play out this little role play, the girls came running back in their numbers shouting out, ‘You are not her personal trainer, he is (Whilst pointing to a guy not 2 metres away). To my friends ultimate credit and great improvisational skills he immediately with un-nerving confidence retorted: ‘Yeah, not anymore, I trained him up and she couldn’t afford me, as my prices went up, so he now trains her’. If you think this is funny, you should check him out (Tez Ilyas) here and totally vote for him as Best Comedian newcomer Radio 2.

As the conversations continued through the night, I ended up being offered Piano lessons by a Pianist in return for dancing lessons. This girl was oriental, so we had many a joke on the pronunciation similarity between Pianist and Penis.

So you are a professional ‘Penis’ do you enjoy playing it?

So the black ‘penis’ part is smaller than the white, that’s a bit strange no?

For most people this joke would have ended here, but not for us, we took it one stage further…

We put our hands palm up and ask her to show us, how she plays with the ‘penis’…Which She did, at this point we decided we liked this girl and totally shared contact details, because I actually would not mind learning to play the piano.

We left PROUD and I rode some fake horses

(One day I will ride some real ones- I have been promised some riding lessons from a professional horse rider girl I know, and it is on my list of things to do. So watch this space)

Awesome first proper night out in London. I cant wait to find more gems like PROUD in Camden, which was a truly fun and eye opening experience!