There were three American eateries I wanted to go to once I heard of them: Hooters, Denny’s and IHOP - all places we don’t have in the UK.
IHOP
This was the first place I got to as it was en-route to work. When some ladies from work asked me where I wanted to go to lunch, I mentioned IHOP and they happily came with me. This is an amazing place to eat, especially for me since I have a very sweet tooth. I got pancakes with chocolate and strawberries, and caramel syrup on the side. These were not like crepes but big fat American pancakes. Man, this sugar high was awesome. The other normal food my colleagues ate seemed fine, but what I did notice was that the place was full of OAPs. It was weird because apparently once the evening/night hit it was full of drunken people like take-aways in England.
My sugar high resulted in me flirting with the waitress. She plays it all cool and not appreciating all my advances, so I said, ‘You are such a lesbian.’ Her face lights up and asked with honest curiosity, ‘How can you tell?’ Rather than explaining this was my standard response to anyone who annoyed/confused me, I responded, ‘Because I want to hook up and you are being all weird.’ At this point the conversation changed and she became friendly and we had some banter. As I was leaving she gave me her number at which point I made it clear: ‘I don’t care if you are a lesbian, I am totally going to flirt with you’ to which
she responded, ‘Well im not a 100% lesbian!’ ‘Bam! My favourite type of lesbian!’ I jokingly replied. We agreed to meet up later, and she would show me around Boise and we could party it up with her friends. Sounded like fun, and the stories got around the office like wildfire: ‘Abs chatted up a lesbian’. Oh great, 2nd day. I hope people at work don’t judge me.
Hooters
It wasn’t until the second week of my trip that I was able to get to Hooters. This was a location most people did not want to go, but once I had my colleague with me from England and 2 of the really fun inappropriate girls from work we went. Firstly the food is not too shabby. I thought the food would be atrocious but it was alright – a definite 6. But it was nowhere clearer than here that sex sells. Sex can even sell OK food.
The girls wear some next level tight clothes with quite a bit of cleavage showing. A girl (whose name I now forget) comes to serve us. By this point every single eatery I has been to, I got a pretty waitresses number and met up with and had fun and was shown round Boise, introduced to their friends etc... I now realise this was not because I was cute or funny, but because I was foreign. I had an English accent and was a total ‘show thing’ for their friends. This was fine with me. I got to have lots of fun, and meet loads of cool new people I get the waitresses number with relative ease but it takes me all of 5 minutes to realise she was boring and I did not want to hang out with her.
I asked her if she would organise the girl from the door to come say hi - I had already walked past her and had some banter when going to the toilet.
Me : I think that waitress is cute…
Waitress: She was saying you’re fun.
Me: She may be pretty, but I’m not going to hang out with her unless she
is fun and intelligent too.
Waitress: She is totally fun, let me call her over.
Me: Is she intelligent because she is working in Hooters…
Waitress: She is super clever. She goes to hair school... Look (points
to hair) she did my hair??
Everyone at the table thinking: Is she being serious, was that a really
dry joke?
25 seconds later when the waitress walks away. Our table bursts into rapturous laughter and, again, the story of Abs and a waitress is what everyone talks about for the next few days
Another funny anecdote:
The waitress was trying to up-sell me some Hooters products. I advised whilst I wasn’t going to buy any she should let me take a photo of the product and her. Below is the scene and the second photo I
took :
However this is the first photo I took and showed to her:
When I showed it to her, she said, ‘That’s rude! Why did you take that?’ to which I replied, ‘When in Rome…’ To my utter self amusement she said, ‘We are in America, not Rome!’ Me: ‘ Ummm...You are right. . .What was I thinking, treating you like a sex object in Hooters! How inappropriate of me!’
As I leave the girls ask if I want a photo with them, and we pose and
take the below photo:
Once this was taken I asked in a very cheeky (standard) way to have one that shows them being treated like sex objects, asked them to think of me as the Hugh Hefner of Hooters, and as you can see below they were way more happy and comfortable with this pose:
Denny’s
Nobody wanted to come to Denny’s with me because they explained it was an absolute dive. Unperturbed by these allegations of sub-standard food, I convinced this really cool girl I had met in Boise to take me. This in itself was quite embarrassing. She was 20, at University studying photography and had a better car than I had ever had in the UK.
Everyone’s cars over here are so much bigger and larger, just like everything in America, from food portions, drink portions, waist sizes, roads, buildings, houses, gardens...the list could go on and on.
When I get to Denny’s I order an appetiser which I could not finish. I have a real problem leaving food and not finishing it, but this is exactly what I did: The food was not to my liking, and I could totally see why no one ever chooses to go to Denny’s, but it was part of the final stretch of American eateries!
 |
| Coolest chick I met in America ever! |
However, I did not let this put a downer on my day and I was taken on a mini tour of the Boise University. The University football team play on a blue field which is the only one of the type in America. Interesting fact: Before they drew on the white lines, ducks would crash into this field. True Story!
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