One-itus part 2

How NOT to get over One--Itus


The 1st step is to first contract one-itus
In order to make sure you get one-itus, you need to follow this piece of advice: When you begin to realise that you like the other person more than they like you (I am quite good at gauging this) do not change your behaviour . If you are starting to be more needy for their attention, or you want to hang out more than they do, or want to talk more than they do, don't change your behavior. Also stop sleeping with anyone you may be sleeping with.


Have lots of free time

Time when you are not busy results in you thinking about your one-itus which is exactly what your mind wants to do, even if it doesn’t help you. Therefore, do not make plans that will include spending time with your friends, anything that will force you to meet new people or have fun. These activities should most definitely be limited, if you must partake in these activites, keep your phone by your side so you can keep in touch with your one-itus, or if you must stay busy do solitary activities like reading or playing computer games, but do not read Tucker Max- that may convince you to go out and have lots of fun.

Talking about it all the time
Talk and tell your friends about the situation surrounding your one-itus. The conversations and happening and taking advise on what you could do. If the conversation does delve into other subjects, like football, philosophy, FIFA, other girls, banter, having fun, being outrageous stop listening and bring the conversation back to your one-itus.

Focus on their good traits
When you talk or think about your one-itus focus on the persons admirable traits and why you really like them. In my current example I would note how she was really sweet, fun, crazy (good) and confident, and I would ignore all the problems or downsides like: She lives too far away, is Republican, is blonde (figuratively). Linked to this, you should also ignore all the girls who are more fun, crazy, confident, sweet, beautiful or any attribute you think your one-itus has.

Don’t sleep with anyone else
A lot of people, including Jordan (AKA Katie Price AKA Big Momma AKA The Slutster) must think that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. However, if you have one-itus the chances are you won’t want to meet other girls, let alone sleep with them. In the same vein, if you have girls who want to sleep with you that you already knew prior to your one-itus don't sleep with them. I don’t know why but once you do this, especially if the girls have the good traits of  your one-itus you will find the spell of one-itus may begin to wear off. In addition one last thing you could do is meet a girl, have some lols and banter and when it seems she is into you tell her about your one-itus.

Keep in touch
Find reasons to message/call your one-itus whether it be to help them, ask them something stupid, or tell them something that reminded you of them. Whilst you may remember something or have a genuine query, don’t hold off and wait until you get over them, message them and keep checking your phone for a response, even though you know when/if they respond you will get an indication from your phone, whether this  is a vibration or noise. Likewise, keep checking your phone to see if you have a message from her, and if you don't, just re-read your past conversation history.


Share/Confess your feelings
When it becomes obvious they aren’t into you as much, tell them exactly how much more you like them. A platonic female friend told me girls appreciate having to chase a guy and they appreciate winning a challenge. Therefore confess your feeling so you make yourself easy/needy so that this doesn’t occur.

Try to be a psychic
Read and the re-read every message you have shared to try to understand or try to ascertain what they are thinking, so you can do the perfect thing to make them like you. Facebook stalk the other person so you can analyse who else or what else she may be doing.

Become an attention seeker
If you have good friends who have had enough and have a stern/persuasive word convincing you that you need to cut contact, pluck up the courage to delete them on Facebook. Tell yourself it will also show how long it takes for them to notice. When they do notice, something you should definitely do is apologise and re-add them. This has the added advantage of being embarrassing you and making you look like an even bigger loser!

Man down / Pussy up
Go out of your way and make stupidly big plans/gestures to show how much you like the other person regardless of how indifferent they may seem. For example, using your persuasive powers to convince your friends to come on a holiday to New York  just because your one-itus is in America and then you may be able to see her.

Impress her/Make her Jealous
Think of ways you can show  your one-itus that you are awesome and put things on Facebook or accidentally send them messages that are supposed to be sent to other people (I didn’t do this this time) that indicate that you are not missing them, and in fact they should be missing you. If you know you are going to see them get a prettier girl to rub it in their face (I have done this before). Basically think of them when you do things and how they would and could potentially react to the things you do. This point is unfortunately a little hit and miss and could work. Making some girls jealous does actually work, but either way it will make sure you don’t get over your one –itus.

Write about your one-itus

LOLS!

Actually in all honesty whilst this was one of the points when I started, Im not sure anymore, its only since I started writing on this topic a week ago, that I regained some sort of normal-ness. Yet at the same time I went against many of the concepts above. I'm not quite here no more but I'm almost back to being here. It could be that writing is some sort of cathartic experience, who knows, but what I do hope is that this is the last gay post in a while.. I need to get my 'fun' back on, or my editor is going to kick my ass/get bored.