Shit Happens

Having experienced a few crazy days of thoughtless mindless fun, it dawned on me that this is not who I want to be. My best friend told me I had become obnoxious, even to people within our friendship circle. Well, what was just perfect was Ramadan was around the corner and I could use it to detox my body and soul. I was going to try and use Ramadan as a cold turkey approach (the only approach that works with addicts) to start to pray, be nice to people, have more patience and stay away from and not flirt with girls.

3 days in and it was going okay. I was feeling tired at times, but I was keeping up with my prayers, stopped flirting with girls and was a lot nicer to everyone - or at least tried to be. One of my colleagues said I should be like this all the time and another one said I could actually pull off being a nice boy. Another colleague would point out girls to me and I would tell him I wasn’t interested. I had managed to stay away from one-itus which had been the hardest thing, but slowly and surely I was managing. Then all these plans got literally shit upon.

I was sat with Ste, who met me outside of work enjoying a good old catch up, sharing our (mainly mine) experiences and my new quest to be a better me. During our conversation we realised we could smell cannabis...so we moved.

We sit next to a pretty girl but I’m being good so we don’t talk. Ste and I continue our discussion as though she is not there. I notice this beautiful woman stretching straight in front of me. I tell Ste girls like that don’t make it easy! We continue conversing until we get shit on by a bird. This creates a way in for the girl next to us and she seems a little try hard but we begin a friendly bantery conversation. This girl was nice enough. But we stopped chatting and then 2 minutes later the bird shits on her and me again. Ste was fine... I decided I’d had enough... Ste and I were moving.

As we are walking over towards some other benches we randomly run into an acquaintance’s girlfriend. I pretend we don’t know her as we continue walking away.

‘Rich’s girlfriend!’ she exclaims.

‘Rich who?!’ I ask, pretending to be confused.

‘Qas’ Rich!’

‘Qas who?!’ I say (I've known Qas for 9 years). She finally gives up, at which point I think the joke has run its course.

We start talking and I do like her from the limited conversations we have had in the past. However, she is with a friend and the friend is the beautiful woman I saw stretching. Normally this would be perfect but, say hello to Sod’s law, I’m trying to stay away from beautiful women and this girl just happens to be put in front of me. I do the whole polite civil thing even though they didn’t think my earlier joke was funny, I already get the feeling I wont like them, I thought it was hilarious! The beautiful girl and I start talking and she is fun. She was dressed cool. She was pretty but also fun and busting my balls, it may be that in trying to be nice/civil and a low blood sugar helped her cause at verbally winning at times. The best bit was when I alluded to the fact I wasn’t going to take her number, she instantly responds: ‘ Ahh, I was hoping to be able to reject your call when I saw it was you!’

I also realised I couldn’t make eye contact with her as my eyes just would not stray that far up. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her… rings... like I said she had some cool style going on.

This conversation had many lulls and awkwardness partially because my brain turns to mush at about 5-6 pm whilst fasting, and the fact I didn’t want to like this girl, I wanted to be good and not flirt, but it was more difficult than I imagined it being because of how fun she was. I tried to turn the conversation to boring conversation, but instead it just died, which was fine.

I make signs to Ste that we need to leave. He gets the hint and we are about to make a move, when we are told another girl is coming. However, they warn me that this girl would not like me. I take this as the perfect excuse to leave. As we walk away, Ste is confused and says: ‘Why leave now? This girl whose coming sounds like you could have had so much fun (at her expense).’

I realised in most situations this would be true and I would thrive off of this, and have so much self amusement! But I’m trying to be nice, and I could not trust myself to be. In addition, that girl was cool and I’m trying to stay away from girls. Super hot girls are everywhere and I can manage those but add cool, fun and ballsy to the mix and I am only human! I feel bad as I leave due to my lack of willpower but then I figure we all have hiccups and this was one, but hey, shit happens!