Feeling Human, Being Funny

I feel somewhat desensitised to social pressure after years of building an immunity because I really don't care what most people think, and it has led me to doing things which makes other people call me: crazy, arrogant, mental, confident, amazing, awesome and obnoxious to name but a few adjectives. Yet I look at what I do and just think... actually that’s the thing, I do things without generally thinking of the consequences. Or I convince my body that the real consequences are insignificant and my body is just being a wussy (part pussy, part wuss). I shake myself out, take a large breath and just get on with it, and in hindsight I am generally glad I did, so the fear lasts maybe a minute....




This was the case until I decided to undertake one of my personal challenges I set myself when moving to London: Do some stand up comedy. I have been in plays and performed for an audience of 1 to an audience of about 200 people, I have been the centre of attention at social gatherings making 20-30 people laugh, I have made new friends on the tube in the middle of the day and made them laugh, I have met total strangers and within 10 minutes they tell me I’m the funniest person they have ever met (they probably don’t know Tez), I have even been in love, car jacked once too, but with all these experiences behind me I can put my hand on my heart and honestly say there is absolutely no fear I have ever felt like the stage fright I felt on the day I lost my comedy virginity.

Rationally, there were no reasons to really be scared; if no one found me funny, big deal, but unfortunately this was an occasion where I really did care what other people thought. I am usually self amusing and I’d say most of the time the people I meet find this funny, but there are occasions that people construe this behaviour as arrogant, uncaring and obnoxious, but I don't care because its me amusing to please myself and no one else, so I don’t care if others laugh or find it funny.

But this was different, this was entirely based on what other people thought. This resulted in me performing yoga for 5 minutes before hand to calm my nerves. And you know what effect this had? Absolutely none. I was absolutely bricking it, I felt truly humble and human and in awe of all comedians, especially ones who aren't that funny. Going up there and having certain jokes not laughed at is crippling...unless you have amazing improvisational skills. (Like my :For those of you that didn't laugh because you don't have cats line).
I have potentially 1 to 3 presenting/compere gigs in London coming up in the short to medium term, and I have done my second attempt at this whole comedy thing, so I am still undecided if I am going to refine and continue with this comedy malarky, but I will surely keep you filled in.

Enjoy and feel free to be ruthless with your critique, I can take it!

Attempt 2

Attempt 1