The Hottest Girl In The World

Well, at least, one that I have seen in person with my own eyes.

Having said that, I have met Miss Idaho, a few models in my time and, most recently, I met the winner of Best UK and Ireland Model (or something like that- I was so indifferent at the time). I once chatted up Alesha Dixon (pre-blog but very funny story) and even 3 girls from Babe Station without being too phased.

Yet, this girl walks past me and my jaw hit the floor. I immediately stopped in my tracks and the JLS song that I thought was gay had meaning. I double-checked, pinched myself and then smelt my armpits. No Lynx on today, this was a real girl....sheeeeeeit!

Satin/Satan; Potato/Tomato

I live in the ghetto of Stockwell. In addition to this, I have never been a very superficial person and this therefore relates to the visual appearance of my flat.

Unfortunately, others do not share this nonchalant view of appearance. Hence, I have to shave, style my hair, dress in ironed clothes and . . . well, that's about it. The rest I would do because I do actually want to be clean.

Many a time people have seen my place for the first time and I have sensed their vaginas dry up or mouth open in shock. I believe I dress stylish therefore when you see where I live, the shock is accentuated.